THE DOGS
MIS DEEDS
Professional mischief maker. Part-time criminal. Full-time snuggler. Probably plotting something. If something suspicious has happened, DeeDee would like it noted that there is absolutely no evidence linking her to the scene. Deeds spends her golden years chasing squirrels, birds, cats, and anything else foolish enough to move within her line of sight.
FINN BUTTER
There is no dog here. Only energy wearing fur. His daily itinerary consists of BALL. Frisbee. Ball. Chase. Rope. BALL. Frisbee. Ball. Ball. Ball. Should you attempt to conclude these activities before Finn has deemed them complete, (which is never) he will lodge a formal complaint by shrieking—
directly into your face.
THE SASQUATCH
A gigantic, hairy baby with the important responsibility of Protecting The Realm™. When danger calls, Sammy patrols the perimeter and takes his guardian duties very seriously. When danger does not call—which is most of the time—Sammy is busy attempting to fit his enormous Sasquatch body into your lap. Are you talking? Obviously to Sammy. And if you're talking to Sammy, clearly you have requested 100+ pounds of dog in your lap. Those are the rules. Also: hair. So. Much. Hair.
THE STINKY PRINCESS
Her Royal Highness does not simply go places. She rides upon a pillow to her playpen, sleeps tucked inside her personal bedtime cave, and requires approximately seventeen blankets at all times. At ten years old, Rogue remains ready for absolutely any adventure—even if Her Majesty must occasionally be carried through it. She is impossibly sweet, endlessly snuggly, and inexplicably determined to lick directly up your nose. We love the Princess. We do not understand the Princess.
JACK LE'TTACK
Jack lives in a dangerous and unpredictable world. Chairs move. Furniture gets rearranged. Objects appear where objects WERE NOT YESTERDAY. And don't even get him started on shadows. Your shadow? Terrifying. His shadow? ALSO TERRIFYING. A slightly different configuration of the living room? What is this place?! What have you done?! Jack bravely faces these horrors every day and would like everyone to please stop changing things forever.